Monday, April 18, 2011

Ridiculous Religions

Society pushes us to be logical, but when it comes to religion in general that’s where logic is discouraged and does not apply.
If you look at any religion that is not yours, it looks hilarious; it’s hard to conceive how anyone could believe this absurdity! I have jotted down a couple points. There are tons more, but I just wanted to get the list started. Feel free to submit your own, either in the comments section or to me directly at and I will append them.

God lives on a planet near the star Kolob.
God had actual sex with Marry.
Dark skin is a curse from God but if you are righteous enough you will become white.
American Indians are the lost tribe of Israel.
Baptizing dead people.
The Garden of Eden was in Missouri.
Jesus told Joseph Smith that every other creed on earth is an abomination.
Holly undergarments that protect you from all types of things including bullets.

Started long before the universe did.
Your infected with murdered alien souls.
The reason you are not happy is because of these Theatans.

Praying to saints.
Talking in tongues.
Believe in miracles.
God impregnated Marry with Jesus who is actually God.
Marry was a virgin.
The rich will be poor and the poor will be rich in heaven.
There is a Heaven and a Hell.
Jesus died for our sins, even though he isn’t dead.
God is all powerful yet only tells a couple of people his will instead of announcing it to everyone else.
Samsung had super human strength that came from his hair.
The world will come to an end, and soon.

Can’t work on the Sabbath; however there are a ton of tricks and loopholes to get around this.
You must be circumcised because that was the covenant with God.
Can’t flip a switch etc. on the Sabbath so must Jewish people have non-Jewish servants to help them on the Sabbath.
God is all powerful yet only tells a couple of people his will instead of announcing it to everyone else.
God will answer your requests if you write them down and put them in the holly wall.
When God returns the dead will rise from the Mount of Olives and retake the temple.

God will reward you with 72 virgins if you do his will (I’m not sure if the Qur’an points out if the virgins are male or female)
Must face Meca when you pray.
The black stone of God came from heaven.

Believe you can get all of the nutrients you need from the air, no need for food or water.

John Frum:

American World War II serviceman, who will bring wealth and prosperity to the people if they follow him

John Frum, began appearing among the native people of Tanna while dressed in a Western coat, making promises of houses, clothes, food, and transport. 
Others contend that John Frum was a kava-induced spirit vision.
John Frum promised the dawn of a new age, in which all white people, including missionaries, would leave the New Hebrides, and that the native Melanesians would gain access to the material wealth that white people enjoyed.

Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable and elevate it are intellectual slaveholders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction. 
Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do. Most people would think it's wonderful when someone says, "I'm willing, Lord! I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Except that since there are no gods actually talking to us, that void is filled in by people with their own corruptions and limitations and agendas. And anyone who tells you they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you don't.

1 comment:

  1. Great start on the list! I'd like to add my favorite make believe so far -

    John Frum -